I just wanna say that pretending good children must be the same in the world if the science doesn't have exception. And more, if the research is based on the science.
よい子という決まった概念はありません。子どもの親や子どもの周囲の大人が、その子どもの姿が良いこと判断したとき、その範囲で、その子どもは良いことなります。それ故に人により、文化により、よい子と判断される子どもの姿は異なります。科学的に研究することは不可能に近いと推測されます。
子供の心と大人の心と異なります。子供の心は大人の心に比べて経験不足という点で、大人の心から見たら未熟に判断されますが、子どもでもそれなりの訓練を受けた子どもは大人顔負けの能力を発揮します。子どもも自分の意思を言葉に表現できますが、その子どもの意思からの行動ができないと言う点が子供の心と大人の心と異なる点です。ですから、子どもはよい子を演じようとしてよい子の姿をするのではありません。何か辛いことから逃れようとしてよい子を演じる場合と、何か嬉しいことを求めようとしてよい子を演じる場合とがあります。
不登校などの心が辛い子供は、子供の心を辛くする学校や勉強などから逃げるために、過去の子供の経験から無意識によい子を演じます。心の辛さから逃げるためによい子を演じることは悪いことではありません。問題点は、親や子どもの周囲の大人が子どものよい子の姿にだけ注目して、子供の心が辛いと言うことに気づかないことです。その結果親や子どもの周囲の大人が、子供の辛い心を守ろうとしないという問題点があります。
不登校などの心が辛い子供が、子供の心を辛くする学校や勉強などから逃げきてたなら、その子供は普通の子どもに戻れます。何も問題を生じることはありません。ところが大人が子供の辛い心を守ろうとしなかったとき、その子どもは親や子どもの周囲の大人の前ではよい子を演じ続けて、大人に気づかれないような場所で、親や子どもの周囲の大人が問題だと考えてしまうような、問題行動をしてしまう、時にはそれが事件になってしまうと言う問題点があります。
There is no set concept of a good child. When a child's parents or adults around the child judge that the child's appearance is good, the child is good to that extent. Therefore, what children are judged to be good children differs depending on the human and culture. It is estimated that it is next to impossible to study it scientifically.
The mind of a child is different from the mind of an adult. A child's mind is less experienced than an adult's mind, and from an adult's point of view it is judged as immature. But if a child receives a certain amount of training, he or she can demonstrate abilities that rival adults. Children can also express their intentions in words, but the difference between a child's mind and an adult's is that they cannot act on their own will. Therefore, children do not pretend to be good children just because they are trying to be good unconciously from their experiences. There were times when a child act like a good boy or a good girl in order to escape from something painful.
Children who are struggling emotionally, such as refusing to go to school, unconsciously pretend to be a good child based on their past experiences as children, in order to escape from school and studies that are hard on their children. There's nothing wrong with pretending to be a good boy or girl in order to escape from the pain in your heart. The problem is that parents and the adults around the child only focus on the child's good behavior and do not realize that the child is in pain. As a result, the problem is that parents and adults around the child do not try to protect the child's painful feelings.
If a child who is having a difficult time, such as refusing to go to school, runs away from school or studies that make the child's heart hard, then that child can return to being a normal child. It won't cause any problems. However, when adults do not try to protect the child's painful feelings, the child continues to act like a good boy or girl in front of the parents and other adults around the child, and in places where the adults do not notice, the child continues to act like a good girl in front of the parents and other adults around the child. There is a problem in that children engage in problematic behavior that adults consider to be a problem, and sometimes it becomes an incident.
